The EPL in a nutshell

How did I end up in this shell?  How do I get out?

Just kidding...

Was reading on espn.com and this description of the EPL gave me lulz.

Part sporting competition, part outlandish soap opera, the EPL is the most watched league in the world. It's a kaleidoscopic collision of heroes, heels, haircuts and hard cash. Yet, bereft of the salary caps, revenue shares and drafts that bring parity to American sport, the league remains an anarchical entity in which results are guaranteed as much by the balance sheet as the team sheet.

The financial imbalance means that in reality, the league is not one competition but three loosely connected leagues within a league. There is "The Battle of the Champions League" waged among an elite band of sheiks, oligarchs and the beneficiaries of a recent New York Stock Exchange IPO; a "Race for Respectability" for the middling teams that lollop toward the consoling placebo of a Europa League place; and the "Race of Death" between the cellar dwellers who are forced to scrap it out to avoid the trapdoor of relegation like slaves at the Roman Colosseum.

I guess the good news for me is that the EPL is back. I can go back to rooting for the Gunners without really having any clue what's happening on the pitch.